Chance

All my life, I can only remember three chances. I missed the first one because I was unsure. I kept thinking that had I done it, I would have crossed the line. A line that made so much sense at that time. After that, I swore that if the chance came again, I would take it without hesitation.

A year later, I found myself missing the second chance.

I have never been the type to express emotion freely and at that time, again, I thought it would be inappropriate if I just acted what I felt without thinking twice. So I did think twice and the chance slipped away. I cried all the way home.

They said third time is the charm.

I didn’t think much when the third chance came knocking on my door. I took it by hand and kept it in my life for 7 days.

When I missed my first chance, I kept lamenting about how different it would have been had I chosen to follow what I felt instead of what I thought. My third chance showed me exactly how different it was.

I felt fear. I felt confusion. I felt nervousness. I felt familiarity. I felt safe. I felt crazy. I felt stupid. I felt tired. I felt happy. I felt anticipation. I felt pleasure. I felt pain. I felt loss. I felt cherished. I felt respected. I felt encouragement. I felt life. I felt chance.

I felt no regret.

It didn’t give me a happy ending nor did it give me a sad one. It just was. It was experience. It was life.

It was chance.

So whatever happens in the future, I’m glad I took the chance. Whatever happens in our lives, the memory of meeting and being with you will stay with me for as long as I can remember. And you remain one of the best things I’ve ever had.

Thank you.

Promise

Nothing is too much, You've promised.
Nothing is too much, so I hold on to that and that only.


For the king trusts in the LORD; through the unfailing love of the Most High, he will not be shaken.
(Psalm 21 : 7)

Tim Hughes - Living For Your Glory

What good is it to gain the whole world
But lose your soul?
What good is it to make a sweet sound
But remain proud?
In view of God’s mercy
I offer my all

Take my life let it be everything, all of me
Here I am use me for your glory
In everything I say and do, let my life honour you
Here I am living for your glory

The road I’m on it leads
nowhere without you
And the life I live it finds meaning,
in surrender
In view of God’s mercy
I offer my all

Seeking first the Kingdom
Seeking first the Kingdom of my Lord
Seeking first the Kingdom
Seeking first the Kingdom of my Lord

Love: A Reason To Love

All these time, I’ve always questioned myself: How can I be so sure in Him? Which part in the Holy Bible that states reasons why I should believe in Him?
I spent almost 20 years dwelling on it and in just one second in a night, it struck me.
It’s love.
Of course I have to read the Holy Bible to know Him more, but it doesn’t take every single word in it for me to understand the main part in Him. It doesn’t require you to be a genius to comprehend it. It doesn’t ask you to go through exactly all the things He had gone but one thing: to understand the love in Him.
You know, I’ve always been dying to be someone ‘known’ that can influence many people as much as I can in pursuit of His promises but no—everytime I push my way harder, it always got me pressed back more. It press me till I’m tired. It press me till I’m unable to move my heart. It press me till the point I think I’m gonna let it go right then.
I now realize that He doesn’t want me to force myself more than I’m able to do. All He’s after is my heart. All my heart to believe in Him. All my heart to love Him.
I might not be able to love Him the way He does but all I can say is it’s the best I could give to Him.
From the beginning, all I have is His. Everything I am is His. Now all I can give is all the best I can do.
Let’s just be honest.
I never know what I’m gonna be for five, ten, twenty years later. I don’t even know what I’m gonna do in the next minute. I might still walk beside Him. I might leave Him in an instant. To think that I would PROBABLY be the one who betray Him is killing me. I don’t wanna be the one who disappoint Him by the end of all things later. But I’m just a human. I’m not somebody who can do everything perfectly. Too many mistakes I’d done and probably would do.
I never know if I’m still alive for the next minute.
And that will always be my reminder everytime I drive myself away from Him: Have I done my best? Have I pleased Him? Have I given all my love to Him? Have I devoted myself in everything I do to Him?

This is my prayer that I will always whisper to Him:
Father… If I haven’t given it all to You, if all I’d done isn’t enough to make You smile then don’t take it all away from me for now. Let me do more things You want me to do. Let me love You more than I’ve already done. Let me put one more smile on Your face.
Don’t cry for me. I’m not worth a single tear from You. Even the dust around your feet is worth more than all I am. I’m sorry for disappointing You all these time.
Please, give me another chance to make it all up. I know I have asked TOO MANY things from You and yet am not grateful for it, but please, don’t turn Your face away from me. I just can’t do it all without You.
I never know if I’m ever gonna please You but this is all I can do. This is all my best for You. Only for You.
I love You.
I love You.
With love,
Your child.

To The Ends of The Earth

Love unfailing
Overtaking my heart
You take me in
Finding peace again
Fear is lost in all You are
And I would give the world to tell Your story
Cause I know that You’ve called me
I know that You’ve called me
I’ve lost myself for good within Your promise
And I won’t hide it
I won’t hide it
Jesus, I believe in You
And I would go to the ends of the earth
For You alone are the Son of God
And all the world will see that You are God
You are God




I’m mentally worn out for the past week. There’s something happened that has changed the way I think in just one second. Something that the world might think we, people who believe it, are lunatic. Something called ‘miracle’. If you don’t believe in miracle, you can stop reading this. I’m not gonna explain what kind of miracle it is anyway.. =P To be honest, I was shocked the time they told me about it. I mean, really, who in their right mind would believe such impossible thing?? But then again, this is our Father we’re talking about. =]
I needed more than 24 hours to comprehend it until I broke out into tears for it was unbearable. Too many thoughts that I might be going crazy. But of course you know that it’s not the worst possibility. I’m so grateful that I haven’t lost my faith in Him yet. I know that it’s Him that has touched my heart with His love. He’s covered me under His wings, shielded me from any bad thoughts that might intimidate me. I can never find someone like Him for He’s my one and only Father. I know but can you please excuse me for claiming Him mine only in my blog? Thank you.
Back to the point. I was a stranger yet I was heartbroken at that time. I just couldn’t think how much broken his family hearts’ were. These past few days we’ve been struggling, praying, crying, and hoping that He would do exactly what He’s said. Whatever may happen, we choose to keep our faith; trust Him in even every most impossible way. One thing for sure, we can’t use our brain to understand Him. There’s no part of Him that says ‘logics’. People might say we’re stupid, crazy, or whatever helps them sleep at night. It doesn’t matter as long as we are mattered for Him.
So, my brother Yero, keep believing in Him. ^^



If you’re still here now, it’s nothing but because of His love and mercy. He’s everything you’re ever gonna need. He’s our everything. =) God bless you all.. <3